Bulletproof
by Macbeth Mouse
Summary: All Malfoys are the same. Yup, no doubt about it. Slash


If there was one thing to be said about the Malfoys, it was that they were all arrogant egotists with no mind for others. It had been proven already; the first time was when Charon, the younger twin, shived off Lily for their date and ended up in bed with her best friend (who, by the way, is now up the duff). The second occurred at Rose's wedding. True, she was getting married to one of them, but even though Scorpius was the best, he was still a Malfoy, and was 7 hours late to his own ceremony. When he finally did get there, Albus tonked him well good. Rose hated Albus for about a month after that, but not as much as she hated Scorpius.

So when the same boy that stood his cousin up at the altar only a handful of months before showed up for Christmas that year, Albus was close to strangling him. They were the best of mates, but he couldn't forgive Scorpius so easily after hurting his cousin so badly. Only the thought that the holidays were supposed to be happy times (previous Potter-Weasley records notwithstanding) kept his fists at his sides, and his mouth shut. Albus wasn't a violent person by nature; that was Lily's job. However, recently, the Potter household had gone through an usurpation of sorts. Ginny, their mother, left their father for her old flame Dean Thomas, effectively cutting out the rest of them from her life for good. Though a mix of emotions had passed through Albus, the most prominent one was anger. He was angry at his mother for leaving them, his father for letting it happen, and, most importantly, himself for hurting so much.

On Christmas Eve 2027, just before the ashen fagot had burnt out and all the withies fallen, when all but Albus and Scorpius had retired for the evening, the clock struck midnight. The last withy dropped. It was Christmas Day.

"Happy Christmas, twat," Albus murmured, hitting his shoulder playfully.

"Yeah, yeah," said Scorpius. "Happy Christmas. Now get to bed. I've got to get to Tesco come morning. Forgot to get a present for Rose and I need you to come with me since you know her best."

Albus just rolled his eyes and laughed quietly. "Scorpius, do you know nothing about Muggles?"

"Hm?"

"Christmas Day is a bank holiday. Tesco's closed, and so is any other store within a ten kilometre radius."

"Fuck it all. Why in Merlin's name would they do that?"

"Dunno. I think they're just sociopaths with no other purpose other than to bugger it all up for us. Either that or they might actually want to spend time with their families. Either way, it's your bullocks that are on the line, not mine, so I could care less."

Scorpius threw his hands up in the air, then stilled, only to bring them to encircle his head. He looked pained, and Albus almost felt sorry for him. What a costly mistake that would have been, especially considering the events that were about to take place.

Recoiling his hand from its outstretched position, Albus Severus shook his head vigorously. He shouldn't be feeling bad for him, right? He should still be miffed! Too tired to think hard enough to reach a decision on the matter, Albus decided it was high time to turn in for the night.

"Well, I'm off. You do whatever you want, so long as you don't wake me when you come in." Unconsciously, Albus flushed at the implications that his words held. Sure, they were sharing a bed, so what? It was just because the Potter household was out of room to stuff their friends and relatives, and Albus's bed happened to be cozy enough for two, thank you very much. There was nothing at all sensual or sexual about two young men sharing a bed!

So then why couldn't Albus get the oh-so heart-melting image of him and Scorpius wrapped up close together out of his head?

3:34, said the clock, 3:34.

"Bloody brilliant," Albus muttered, attempting to shield his eyes from the light with his pillow. It wasn't working, and the raging headache he was getting seemed in no mood to leave him. It would be another 2 hours and 26 minutes before they could officially wake up. Ah, now it was 2 hours and 25 minutes. And he had to piss.

Completely disregarding that there was another body in his bed, he rolled out of bed, effectively hitting his head on the dead lamppost. A few curse words later, Albus decided to find a torch before doing anything else. It was completely unfortunate that he had to scrabble his way to the kitchen to find one, as there were many things the clumsy lad bumped into on his way, including the door to the loo. Poor boy was still too tired to remember where anything was at this time of the morning. Albus finally found a torch in the cupboard under the stairs (going in there was an adventure in itself, as who knew what was actually under there), and could see where he was going. Alas, as it was mentioned before, he was too much asleep to know which door was which. That was how he found himself opening the wrong door at exactly the wrong time.

"Oh God yes!"

"Fuck, Scorpius, harder!"

Albus choked on his spit, his eyes going wider than he thought possible. The sight... it was too horrible for words. That son of a bitch, the same one who had stood up Rosie, was fucking Albus's father.

"Wha... What the hell do you think you're doing?" He screamed at the top of his lungs, more out of shock than anything else. In retrospect, Albus wished he had just closed the door and not talked about the incident at all. Ever. However, his mouth was far ahead of his mind.

There was frantic movement on the bed, and someone fell out. Oh, did Albus hope it was Malfoy.

"Albus!" The blond called in the darkness, while Albus's father whispered "Al," just loud enough for Albus to hear.

"I can explain-"

"Fuck you, I don't want to hear from you, bastard."

His father walked toward the door, and made a move to put a hand on his shoulder. "Al, really, you should let us explain before you over-react and wake the whole house."

With one swift move, Albus moved his entire body away from his father's out of disgust. "For God's sake! I'm not over-reacting, Dad, you- just- put some damn clothes on!" Nodding, Harry went to close the door. "Wait," Albus said. "I'm not leaving him in here with you any longer."

Neither of them protested as Albus cautiously grabbed Scorpius by the arm and dragged him into his own room. Slamming the door behind them, Albus rushed to look through his ornate wardrobe, then threw some clothes at Scorpius. They were going to be a couple sizes too small, but small clothes were better than no clothes, especially when they were the only thing standing between Albus and Scorpius's woody. Now, of course, there was nothing sexual about that, as after witnessing their father have sex with someone, most people aren't inclined to think of that person as "sexy".

"Now," Albus started, making odd cringing motions with his hands. "I am trying my best to remain calm here. And you know me Scorpius, I'm not a very angry person. But I'm only going to ask this once, so pay attention _very_ closely. Why on God's green Earth were you shagging my _father_?" Perhaps he was a bit too loud with that last bit, or perhaps it was the previous commotions that had woken up everyone else. Whichever, Lily decided at this exact moment to poke her mousy head in the door.

Almost immediately, she saw Scorpius on the ground with no shirt, trousers around his knees, and a hard-on. Then her eyes flashed to Albus who was completely red in the face. It took all her effort to fail in stiffling her laughter.

"Wow, Al. You finally got him. But do you have to be so loud about it?"

One very heated glare from her brother and an awkward look from the Malfoy in the room efficiently silenced her.

"Oi, what's he saying?" came a whispered voice from behind Lily. She turned her head to shush the voice, but the door opened wider to reveal not just James (who Albus knew without a doubt was there) but Teddy, Rose, Louis, and Fred as well. Albus groaned while Scorpius tried depserately to cover himself up with a yelp.

"It's not what it looks like," said Scorpius, but once more, before he could finish, Albus lashed out at him.

"Who the fuck asked you, gitface!"

"Woah, Al!" James stepped in the room and walked toward his brother. "Calm down. You don't want Da to overhear you. You know how he feels about swearing."

"You know, James, I couldn't really care about how Dad feels right now."

Scorpius scoffed. "Jesus, what has your panties in a bunch?" That was the stake in Scorpius's heart, though Albus was beyond the point of making vampire jokes at that point.

"Fuck it, I'm killing him." Albus pulled his wand from the desk behind him and pointed it toward the other boy. "Arm yourself, Malfoy."

"Albus, don't you think you're being a bit ridiculous?"

"I said arm yourself, Malfoy! Before I _Confringo_ you to pieces!"

Voices came from everywhere at once.

"Don't do it, Al!"

"It's not worth it!"

"Fuck him up, bro!" Thank God for Louis and his encouragement.

Then-

"Albus Severus Potter, that is enough!"

Still, Albus readied himself. The words ghosted his lips, and he took in a breath of air to start the incantation. "_Con-_"

Then his wand was gone. Confused, Albus looked right, then left, and soon saw his father standing there with the wand he was supposed to be holding. Harry was looking at it oddly, as if it were the most important thing in the world right then.

"Where did you...?" Then Harry shook his head. "No. Never mind. Albus, you can't kill Scorpius."

"But Dad, he's a Malfoy! You almost killed his father on multiple occasions!"

"Yes, but he's also your friend, and..." Closing his eyes, Harry looked as if he were pained to continue. "And he's my boyfriend."

Gasps rang throughout the room, most notably from Lily.

"Da, you stole Albus's boyfriend?"

"_Lily_." Father and son spoke simultaneously.

"Right, sorry, not the time." Little Lily, darling Lily; if it weren't for the fact that she had Tourette's, bless her heart, they might have all killed her for being so interruptive.

Harry sighed. "Yes, well, one of you was bound to figure it out eventually."

Smiling, Scorpius swaggered on over to his boyfriend and ran a hand through his greying hair. Planting a kiss upon his cheek, he held himself close. "We've been together for at least a month, and I didn't know how much longer I could keep it a secret. I love him more than anything in the world."

It was at that moment a shriek rang through the room. Everyone glanced every which way for its origin, but none could be found. Albus was the first to notice Rose was missing. He wished to go after her; longed to be able to. They were, after all, both upset at the same thing, albeit for different reasons. But he knew in his heart that it just wouldn't be right.

Rose would have to be all right on her own. She always was, and this time would be no different.

How much of an arse did Scorpius had to be to not realize that saying how much you love your new partner in front of your fiancée of four months ago was a major faux pas? Obviously, he either had no brain, or no heart.

And so, Albus thought, if there was one thing to be said about the Malfoys, it was that they were all arrogant egotists with no mind for others.


End file.
